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Divorce my old partner when I fall in love with a new man

Abstract: What is most important for you, peace or passion? There is the risk, that you will have neither, when the new passion ends.

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Divorce my old partner when I fall in love with a new man

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Written by: , certified psychologist and certified psychotherapist, teacher and tutor in psychotherapy.
First version: 22 Jul 2008.
Latest revision: 20 Aug 2008.

I have fallen in love with a man at my workplace, and I believe he has similar feelings for me. But I already have a relation, with a guy I have been together with for six years. Our relation is more based on long-time friendship than on passion.

Thousands of feelings bubble in me when I meet the new man at my job. But can I be sure that the desire and the strong feelings are true? Should I leave my old relation for something unkown?


You have a difficult choice. Different cultures solve this problem in different ways. In France, you would keep your old stable relation and still enjoy a new infatuation while it lasts.

In Sweden, the common solution is sequential polygamy. People switch partners, but have only one at a time.

You have to decide what is most important in your life, peace or passion. The risk is that you will have neither, when the new passion ends. The choice must be yours, because you have to take the consequences of your decision.

Love and infatuation is a trick of nature to produce more babies. But after a year, only a small percentage are still in love. It is not fair to compare a man you have just fallen in love with, with a man, who you are not any more in love with. You see the new man in a rozy haze, while you see the old partner in a more realistic way.

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