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My husband blames me, my life is cheerless, how can I control my anger over my marriage problems?

Abstract: You may have a reason to be angry. You need to find meaningful tasks in your life. Maybe you would also benefit from antidepressive medication.

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My husband blames me, my life is cheerless, how can I control my anger over my marriage problems?

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Written by: , certified psychologist and certified psychotherapist, teacher and tutor in psychotherapy.
First version: 22 Jul 2008.
Latest revision: 18 Aug 2008.

I am a 48 years old married lady, my daughter is 23 years old and has a love affair with a boy, my husband is away all day and does not talk much. My husband blames me that she does not live a proper life. I do not know how to control my anger. What should I do to handle my marriage problems?


It is not surprising that you are angry, being angry is a natural reaction to your situation. Your life situation seems to be dull and uninteresting and cheerless in a way which could motivate your anger.

I do not know what restrictions your religion puts on you: is there any possibility for you to study or get a meaningful job of your own? One of my neighbours, who does not have any gainful occupation, works two days a week for a charity organisation; this gives her life a meaning and lets her meet people. Myself, I take care of a small child every weekend, whose parents are deaf.

That your daughter has met a boy is good, if he is a nice person.

Women can sometimes get help from taking oestrogen after their menopause; this can help them feel better. But only taking pills, and not doing something about your life situation, may not be the best solution.

From your letter, I get the impression that you are depressed. Anti-depressive medication can sometimes help in getting out of a cheerless life situation. Such medication can make it easier for you to do the changes in your life which would make your life more meaningful.

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